Weight Loss Goal: 42.5lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 153 lbs (10st 13lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1lb
Weight Loss So Far: 36.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 6lbs
Goal Weight: 147lbs (10st 7lbs)
After meeting my goal weight last week, I've been thinking a lot about what I look like now and whether I'm a 100% happy with it. I look pretty damn good in my opinion but there's that slight inkling of I can do better. I've decided to keep going because I've made it this far and I think I can keep going for a bit longer to make it closer to an ideal weight for my height. Ideally it would 10st 5lbs but I am going to go down to 10st 7lbs first and see how I feel then, I think at this point its easier to break down the goals in half stone increments especially since I don't have that much weight left to lose. Also that would be a total loss of 3 stone which seems absolutely insane but it sounds like a reasonable goal for me :)
I know I would never venture below 10 stone again in my life as I looked absolutely awful, if you want proof look at my driving license or old photos of me, I didn't look well. Even though I didn't purposefully lose all that weight as it was through stress I know I should never go back to that. At 8.5 stone especially, I looked like a zombie! As most of my friends will say to me I'm a curvy girl. I go in and out that's the way I'm meant to look so if I lose too much weight I'll lose that curviness. And at the end of the day this blog is called 'Curvy to Less Curvy Girl' not 'Curvy to Stick Bean Girl'.
It seems crazy after 5 months i'm still ranting and raving on here but I appreciate anyone that reads this as it's my life line. I'm glad to have it here, I should really keep a hard copy to look back on as it's been such a journey but it's not quite over yet :)
Friday, 4 November 2011
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XLIV: Generic World
Despite reaching my goal I still feel like I'm getting there to being that happy and confident person I want to be and will use this blog to get used to looking this way again. I keep catching my reflection in the mirror or seeing myself in photos and thinking that can't be me. But in other ways I feel like I've lost sight of myself a little bit over the years. I think if 16 year old me saw me I don't think she'd like what she saw. The way I treat myself more than anything. I envisioned such a bright future at that age, school was over and I was free from a lot of the torment but I'm still in the mindset of not being respectful of myself. Still nothing is good enough in my personal and academic life, I work hard, I try to do good and I just feel like there's never enough or what I'm doing isn't warranting the results like I wanted.
Listening to old music earlier especially reminds me of the person I used to be and I'm debating whether I sold out or I just grew up. I see people even older than me still sticking to the alternative culture and I just feel especially since university I've thrust myself into being conventional.
Sex, alcohol, short dresses and heels and dancing to whatever is new in the music chart in that week.
It seems superficial but it makes me really miss Subculture and Anarchy, I felt at home there back in Birmingham. The closest thing here is Rock Society and I don't do societies and tried them last year and hated the snobbery. I miss Teen Culture, dancing around for a few hours, with no alcohol and having an amazing time. I think I forgot you could have nights like that. I miss that innocence that seems to be gone now. And to be honest going clubbing is completely overrated. Its expensive, and you pay to stand in a crowded room listening to generic music with generic people, there's nothing special about it. You're just one in a crowd but still I go every week.
It just makes me sick I could be one of these people but a part me feels like I hate living to go out so I can forget who I am and what I am doing. Its a good escape but its not really facing any of the problems I have. Trivial problems could be dealt with a good session but I think I've thrown myself into this lifestyle to forget who I am and forget everything that has happened as it's so easy to blend in and sway along with music. I used to have the confidence and the defiance to be different and not scared of what people think of how I looked or acted. I need the girl that didn't give a fuck her hair was green/blue/purple/pink/red, would have piercings, get tattoos because she liked them and didn't have to think about what people would think of them. The girl who would wear torn up clothes or something completely insane just because the moment struck her that day.
I may have lost this weight but it's made me realise I've lost that girl, that strong defiant girl who didn't care what everyone thought of her. That's what matters not that I'm 35lbs lighter, it matters I've lost that part of my personality that I felt made me special, it made me different from other girls and everyone needs to feel they have that something special about them that makes them an individual. I had a strong mind and sense of fun about the world. I need to run round and blow bubbles and confuse random strangers. I need to reclaim those parts of me by not shying away in seminars as I'm scared that my opinion or interpretation will be wrong or argued against. I need to find the fun in the normality of life. I know I need to grow up but I don't want have to lose those parts of me. What you look like may seem pretty superficial but I think blending in has made me into a shell of my former self. All this time I've been on about losing my spark but never really talked about what the spark was so how could I have found it again without realising this?
This rant is mainly coming from spending all day making notes on Soviet Studies journals on Gorbachev and feeling a bit trapped but I think it's been good to talk about what's on my mind. Ever since last saturday when I went out for halloween and got dressed up in a corset and looked like a weird gothic vampire, it reminded me of the old me who made such an effort for Halloween and loved everything about it, When I was 18 I spent all day in a costume at work and then went straight to a house party. That's Laura! This year I couldn't be bothered with it all and that depressed me that I felt that way about something that was my favourite holiday of the year. I shall have to come back and read all this again to remind myself to capture those things I feel made me special and bring them back into my life.
Just as a P.S Trapt used to be one of my favourite bands and now I barely listen, no more :)
I may have lost this weight but it's made me realise I've lost that girl, that strong defiant girl who didn't care what everyone thought of her. That's what matters not that I'm 35lbs lighter, it matters I've lost that part of my personality that I felt made me special, it made me different from other girls and everyone needs to feel they have that something special about them that makes them an individual. I had a strong mind and sense of fun about the world. I need to run round and blow bubbles and confuse random strangers. I need to reclaim those parts of me by not shying away in seminars as I'm scared that my opinion or interpretation will be wrong or argued against. I need to find the fun in the normality of life. I know I need to grow up but I don't want have to lose those parts of me. What you look like may seem pretty superficial but I think blending in has made me into a shell of my former self. All this time I've been on about losing my spark but never really talked about what the spark was so how could I have found it again without realising this?
This rant is mainly coming from spending all day making notes on Soviet Studies journals on Gorbachev and feeling a bit trapped but I think it's been good to talk about what's on my mind. Ever since last saturday when I went out for halloween and got dressed up in a corset and looked like a weird gothic vampire, it reminded me of the old me who made such an effort for Halloween and loved everything about it, When I was 18 I spent all day in a costume at work and then went straight to a house party. That's Laura! This year I couldn't be bothered with it all and that depressed me that I felt that way about something that was my favourite holiday of the year. I shall have to come back and read all this again to remind myself to capture those things I feel made me special and bring them back into my life.
Just as a P.S Trapt used to be one of my favourite bands and now I barely listen, no more :)
Friday, 28 October 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XLIII: 19 week weigh in....mission accomplished.
Can't believe I'm actually here after 19 weeks I'm at my goal weight...35.5lbs lost in total. I'm 11 stone and I can't describe how good I feel about myself right now for accomplishing this. Back then I don't think I could even imagine myself looking this way or that I could stick with it for this long without giving up but I'm here know and I don't ever wanna go back to the way I looked before I was so unhappy with my body but now I feel proud to show it off. I'm truly thankful for all the people in my life who have supported me and have given me ammazing compliments. Honestly I've never had so many compliments in my life and it feels good that even people who don't know me that well and have just followed this blog know how much work I've put in :)
I'm not sure yet how I feel about losing more weight. I feel pretty happy with the way my body looks but I know I'm still technically overweight. My maximum healthy weight is still 9lbs loss away. I want to lose more because it would be nice but now I've met my goal I think it'd be good to take the pressure off myself. Instead of being 44lbs overweight, I'm on ly 9lbs overweight now and I can live with that. I'm gonna keep living my life the way I have been and if lose more, that's great, if I gain, I'll watch my diet a bit better.
Overall I'd say I'd met my main goal from losing weight and that was to get my confidence back. I still have my bad days as everyone does but generally when I get dressed, I think damn! you're looking good :) and wow I don't have to breathe in and struggle to do up a pair of jeans/shorts. It's a good feeling to not feel so uncomfortable in my own skin.
Its also given me more confidence about the opposite sex I think this quote sums up how I've felt for a long time
"I feel like an empty shell that's been hollowed out by all the men I've known romantically bit by bit and after Tim it felt like there was really nothing left to offer or give to anyone." see Spark
I don't feel like I'm being judged and I believe in myself as a person of worth. I believe I have plenty to offer someone and that they would be lucky to spend time with a girl like me. I don't want to be this heartless girl that has been hollowed out by everyone before but after the way I've been treated and the past I've had, I know it's been easier to not care about someone else, it's easier to close myself off and say they mean nothing to me. I've been feeling less cold and that's a step in the right direction I guess, to let myself feel something for someone else rather than just assume the worst and run away from it. I'm nowhere near ready to love someone but I think I could like someone and give them a chance and for me that feels like a huge step that doesn't sound right coming from me.
This has been a VERY long blog but as it feels like the end of journey I thought it'd be good to compare how I felt on the 13th June to how I feel now. My confidence may not be perfect, my body may not be perfect but I'm the happiest and at most peace with myself I've been in a long time. It's been a journey of physical change but I don't think you go through something like and don't change on the inside. I'm not a completely different person, I just feel like myself again.
Finally another thank you to everyone who has read this blog, it means the world to me :)
Now to finish with a couple of quotes from my very first blog.
Weight Loss Goal: 35.5lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 154 lbs (11st 0 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 35.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 0lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st
I'm not sure yet how I feel about losing more weight. I feel pretty happy with the way my body looks but I know I'm still technically overweight. My maximum healthy weight is still 9lbs loss away. I want to lose more because it would be nice but now I've met my goal I think it'd be good to take the pressure off myself. Instead of being 44lbs overweight, I'm on ly 9lbs overweight now and I can live with that. I'm gonna keep living my life the way I have been and if lose more, that's great, if I gain, I'll watch my diet a bit better.
Overall I'd say I'd met my main goal from losing weight and that was to get my confidence back. I still have my bad days as everyone does but generally when I get dressed, I think damn! you're looking good :) and wow I don't have to breathe in and struggle to do up a pair of jeans/shorts. It's a good feeling to not feel so uncomfortable in my own skin.
Its also given me more confidence about the opposite sex I think this quote sums up how I've felt for a long time
"I feel like an empty shell that's been hollowed out by all the men I've known romantically bit by bit and after Tim it felt like there was really nothing left to offer or give to anyone." see Spark
I don't feel like I'm being judged and I believe in myself as a person of worth. I believe I have plenty to offer someone and that they would be lucky to spend time with a girl like me. I don't want to be this heartless girl that has been hollowed out by everyone before but after the way I've been treated and the past I've had, I know it's been easier to not care about someone else, it's easier to close myself off and say they mean nothing to me. I've been feeling less cold and that's a step in the right direction I guess, to let myself feel something for someone else rather than just assume the worst and run away from it. I'm nowhere near ready to love someone but I think I could like someone and give them a chance and for me that feels like a huge step that doesn't sound right coming from me.
This has been a VERY long blog but as it feels like the end of journey I thought it'd be good to compare how I felt on the 13th June to how I feel now. My confidence may not be perfect, my body may not be perfect but I'm the happiest and at most peace with myself I've been in a long time. It's been a journey of physical change but I don't think you go through something like and don't change on the inside. I'm not a completely different person, I just feel like myself again.
Finally another thank you to everyone who has read this blog, it means the world to me :)
Now to finish with a couple of quotes from my very first blog.
"So I have vowed to lose 35lbs not sure by what date hopefully by the end of this year! At the moment I'm at week 3 and I have lost 2.75lbs so far it's a start but I'm going to keep eating healthy, exercising and keeping my eyes on the prize, to look at a sexy curvy girl in the mirror who is proud of her shape, what she has accomplished and who she is"
I feel like I can now give this quote an end date, its not just by the end of the year anymore..Start Date: 13.06.2011 End Date 28.10.2011 I wouldn't say I'm absolutely brimming with confidence but I can say now that I am proud of my shape, what I've accomplished and who I am. I feel like a better person for going through all of this ;)
"My confidence when I'm out is gone, I wanna cover up, be nice to everyone so they don't point out my size so I'm known as Laura, the nice girl, the funny girl, the crazy girl just because I can't stand to think that people would be going "do you know Laura, the fat girl?"
Hopefully I can lay this thought to rest and it will never possible to refer to me as the fat girl again. Its a strange paranoia assuming that people do say such horrible things but you never know people describe you and I never want that word near a description of me ever again. I've worked too god damn hard.
Also thought I'd mention the 10 goals I set myself I'm crossing them all off as I feel like I've met them all :)
10 motivational goals/aspirations
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
6. To buy size 14 hipster jeans and feel sexy in them, part of the reason I never wear jeans is because they make me feel fat, you can't have muffin tops/buddha belly in a flowing dress.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
8. To wear the size 14 leather/suede mini skirt I bought from new look last year, I have never worn it because when I bought it I was slightly too big for it when I bought it and planned to diet to fit in and never got round to it, on a night out and feel confident that I fit in it.
9. To fit comfortably in my denim shorts for fresher's week, since I loved wearing them last year during freshers.
10. To not be classed as an obese woman again, I can deal with being overweight according to BMI as I'm a curvy girl but I will not be obese!
Hopefully I can lay this thought to rest and it will never possible to refer to me as the fat girl again. Its a strange paranoia assuming that people do say such horrible things but you never know people describe you and I never want that word near a description of me ever again. I've worked too god damn hard.
Also thought I'd mention the 10 goals I set myself I'm crossing them all off as I feel like I've met them all :)
10 motivational goals/aspirations
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
6. To buy size 14 hipster jeans and feel sexy in them, part of the reason I never wear jeans is because they make me feel fat, you can't have muffin tops/buddha belly in a flowing dress.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
8. To wear the size 14 leather/suede mini skirt I bought from new look last year, I have never worn it because when I bought it I was slightly too big for it when I bought it and planned to diet to fit in and never got round to it, on a night out and feel confident that I fit in it.
9. To fit comfortably in my denim shorts for fresher's week, since I loved wearing them last year during freshers.
10. To not be classed as an obese woman again, I can deal with being overweight according to BMI as I'm a curvy girl but I will not be obese!
Weight Loss Goal: 35.5lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 154 lbs (11st 0 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 35.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 0lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st
See you soon xo
Friday, 14 October 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XLII: 17 week weigh in
Only a 1lb lost this week which isn't amazing so I think I'm going to have to step up the exercise and watch my food intake a little more carefully over the next week. I would like to be 11 stone by next week but we'll wait and see. All I know is that having a chip shop next door and a supermarket across the road is proving a very difficult temptation!!! To be honest I can be a little kind to myself as I'd kind of lost my appetite for the first two weeks back in Aberystwyth and for the past week all i've wanted to do is eat crap so it could just be a hormonal thing.
Wish me luck and see you soon xo
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 156 lbs (11st 2 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1lb
Weight Loss So Far: 33.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 2lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Wish me luck and see you soon xo
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 156 lbs (11st 2 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1lb
Weight Loss So Far: 33.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 2lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Friday, 7 October 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XLI: 16 week weigh in
Another good week despite the amount of alcopops last friday night and a brief moment of weakness of curry sauce and chips from the chippy next door :) only 3lbs left to lose and I'll have met my goal but I think I might extend by my goal by another 7lbs so my total weight loss would be 42lbs and my goal weight would be 10st 7lbs. Shall have to see how I get it on but I haven't put weight on at uni so far so I must be doing something right!
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 157 lbs (11st 3 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 32.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 3lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 157 lbs (11st 3 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 32.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 3lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Friday, 30 September 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XL: 15 week weigh in
Have been trying to think to myself how to explain this much of a loss...
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 159 lbs (11st 5 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 3.25lbsWeight Loss So Far: 30.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 5lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
- Stress of the move
- Thinking about all the reading for next year...stress
- Drinking what little i've done has put me off my food a lot.
- I have walked everywhere, I've done more walking than when I was at home.
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 159 lbs (11st 5 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 3.25lbsWeight Loss So Far: 30.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 5lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Monday, 26 September 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXIX: Beginning of Second Year
Right now I'm sitting here drinking some coffee knowing that I need to talk to someone. I thought I'd feel different coming back here knowing so many people but I feel just as lonely as that first day as to be honest this is the only way I can honestly talk about my feelings, writing them down. The words don't come when I'm in conversation they just get pushed further and further down. It's something that I wish could get better as there are very few people that can get the truth out of me, lying seems a lot easier even though I know its probably completely obvious, its easier.
I should feel amazing right? I've lost all this weight, my friends are paying me the most thoughtful compliments and have been so incredibly sweet and I'm thankful for them, I really am. By this logic I must be looking great but I feel the exact opposite. I know I'm smaller well I must be, a lot of the stuff I wore last year I had to leave at home because it was too big and i've been able to wear clothes I haven't worn since I was 18.
I need help to let go as whenever I've had a drink recently especially these last two nights. I haven't been able to let go and get drunk and have fun, I've been going at half speed. I haven't felt like myself and part of me thinks I was a lot more fun when I was bigger as right now thinking about a night out makes me panic. I think if I let go, I'm suddenly gonna put all two stone back on and all my work will have been for nothing.
I think of the calories I'll have to consume to line my stomach, the amount of calories in the alcohol, the post night out chip shop visit calories and the calories the following day when I'm craving greasy salty food. I've been in a safe routine of being able to monitor everything so carefully that alcohol scares me. I'm scared to lose control of the situation like I lost control of the situation with my weight. I don't want to go back to feeling bad about myself but I don't think I feel that much better at the moment.
Somehow I've got even less confident around men in general, I can't even look them in the eyes if they're not my friend and if they get too close I get freaked out or walk off or if I get paid a compliment I don't believe them. I feel like every one of them is just trying to play a cruel joke. I thought my confidence was rock bottom before and I thought I was getting better back home because I was able to lift my head when walking down the street alone but going on a night out in Aberystwyth has just made me doubt that progress.
I think I just need someone to help let go and not feel so worried about how I look or be scared of putting on weight. I went out for meals pretty much twice a day on holiday, I drank cocktails and did very little exercise and I only put on half a pound which I lost straight away so why I am so scared of letting go once a week? I think I'd have a lot more fun if I just went all out. I really want to be 'fat girl' rather than 'fit girl' at the moment as at least 'fat girl' had a good time.
I should feel amazing right? I've lost all this weight, my friends are paying me the most thoughtful compliments and have been so incredibly sweet and I'm thankful for them, I really am. By this logic I must be looking great but I feel the exact opposite. I know I'm smaller well I must be, a lot of the stuff I wore last year I had to leave at home because it was too big and i've been able to wear clothes I haven't worn since I was 18.
I need help to let go as whenever I've had a drink recently especially these last two nights. I haven't been able to let go and get drunk and have fun, I've been going at half speed. I haven't felt like myself and part of me thinks I was a lot more fun when I was bigger as right now thinking about a night out makes me panic. I think if I let go, I'm suddenly gonna put all two stone back on and all my work will have been for nothing.
I think of the calories I'll have to consume to line my stomach, the amount of calories in the alcohol, the post night out chip shop visit calories and the calories the following day when I'm craving greasy salty food. I've been in a safe routine of being able to monitor everything so carefully that alcohol scares me. I'm scared to lose control of the situation like I lost control of the situation with my weight. I don't want to go back to feeling bad about myself but I don't think I feel that much better at the moment.
Somehow I've got even less confident around men in general, I can't even look them in the eyes if they're not my friend and if they get too close I get freaked out or walk off or if I get paid a compliment I don't believe them. I feel like every one of them is just trying to play a cruel joke. I thought my confidence was rock bottom before and I thought I was getting better back home because I was able to lift my head when walking down the street alone but going on a night out in Aberystwyth has just made me doubt that progress.
I think I just need someone to help let go and not feel so worried about how I look or be scared of putting on weight. I went out for meals pretty much twice a day on holiday, I drank cocktails and did very little exercise and I only put on half a pound which I lost straight away so why I am so scared of letting go once a week? I think I'd have a lot more fun if I just went all out. I really want to be 'fat girl' rather than 'fit girl' at the moment as at least 'fat girl' had a good time.
Friday, 23 September 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXVIII: Final Weigh in Before Going Back To Aber.
Was not expecting that! I only weighed myself last sunday after the holiday and I haven't gone particulary mad with the exercise this week but I'm happy only 3/4lb away from losing 2 stone. I would not think in a million years I would have lost this much weight before returning to uni. In the beginning I was just hoping for 10% of my original body weight but here I am at 27.25lbs lost and going strong, I wanna lose the last 8.25lbs over the next term but I realise my weight loss will be hindered by university life so as long as I'm 11 stone at christmas I'll be a happy girl but even right now I've got dressed this morning and I think I'm looking pretty damn good and feel like myself again :)
and for any of you at Aberystwyth reading this, I can't wait to see you all. See you soon xo
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 162.25 lbs (11st 8.25lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 3lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 27.25lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 8.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
and for any of you at Aberystwyth reading this, I can't wait to see you all. See you soon xo
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 162.25 lbs (11st 8.25lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 3lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 27.25lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 8.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXVII: Post Holiday Weigh In and Insight.
I gained half a 1lb, I can live with this as I expected to gain at least 2lbs. I enjoyed myself and ate lots of beautiful spanish food, drank wine with dinner and had cocktails on the evening. I'm proud of myself as I didn't calorie count or choose salads but I didn't go completely off the rails and stuff or drink myself stupid.
I feel like my confidence has gone up a lot as having walked round in only a bikini I didn't feel exposed or giant, I felt normal like I fitted in with everyone else rather than feeling like a blimp or an outcast. I think a part of me still thinks I'm bigger than I am but I'm working on it :)
It probably helps having a tan as well that's giving me a glow but I really feel happier after this holiday, I feel more relaxed about my body and want to keep that attitude towards food and myself way into the future. There's definitely a spring back in my step :)
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 165.25 lbs (11st 10.75lbs)
Weight Gain: 0.5lb
Weight Loss So Far: 24.25lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 10.75lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
P.S As promised, me in a bikini, it may not be a perfect body but it's mine :)
I feel like my confidence has gone up a lot as having walked round in only a bikini I didn't feel exposed or giant, I felt normal like I fitted in with everyone else rather than feeling like a blimp or an outcast. I think a part of me still thinks I'm bigger than I am but I'm working on it :)
It probably helps having a tan as well that's giving me a glow but I really feel happier after this holiday, I feel more relaxed about my body and want to keep that attitude towards food and myself way into the future. There's definitely a spring back in my step :)
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 165.25 lbs (11st 10.75lbs)
Weight Gain: 0.5lb
Weight Loss So Far: 24.25lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 10.75lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
P.S As promised, me in a bikini, it may not be a perfect body but it's mine :)
Friday, 9 September 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXVI: The Almost 13 week weigh in
An extra 1lb lost before the holiday so I'm happy. I'm praying I'll stay the same but I have a feeling I might gain a couple of lbs just through alcohol consumption and eating out every night. In 24 hours I'll be there and itching to get into a bikini and lie by the pool! Wish me luck :) see you soon xo
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 164.75 lbs (11st 10.75lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1lb
Weight Loss So Far: 24.75lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 10.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 164.75 lbs (11st 10.75lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1lb
Weight Loss So Far: 24.75lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 10.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Thursday, 8 September 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXV: Lessons
After yesterday I feel like I could share some lessons about dieting/lifestyle change to prevent hiccups or being sick in my case.
1. Do not drink excessive amounts of tea and coffee, it will not end well. The caffiene keeps you going but it's not real energy!
2. Following feeling sick and thinking its hunger do not wolf down your dinner in less than 5 minutes and barely chew your food.
3. Do not think peppermint tea will help the situation if nausea has already kicked in!
What I have learned is my body has changed, I can not wolf down a huge meal quickly like I used to. I used to eat a whole pasta bake to myself in about 10 minutes and I'm not that person anymore. My stomach has got used to smaller meals and taking longer to eat.
It's a good tip (for everyone) to chew your food for as long as possible, it makes you feel fuller quicker and aids digestion. Take time to appreciate your food, I've been thinking lately its just energy but it needs to be enjoyed. What's your body gonna do with a piece of unchewed belly pork? stomach acid is strong but not that strong!
So even 3 months in I still make mistakes and I want people to know it's ok to screw up whether its overeating, eating the wrong food or missing the gym because you feel lazy, we're all human and it's ok :)
I've also decided I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow, as an almost 13 week weigh in to see what weight I've reached before the holiday :) I might not have lost anything since monday but I want to know what I am before I go away as it'll be awhile before I'll be near a set of scales.
See you tomorrow for an update xo
1. Do not drink excessive amounts of tea and coffee, it will not end well. The caffiene keeps you going but it's not real energy!
2. Following feeling sick and thinking its hunger do not wolf down your dinner in less than 5 minutes and barely chew your food.
3. Do not think peppermint tea will help the situation if nausea has already kicked in!
What I have learned is my body has changed, I can not wolf down a huge meal quickly like I used to. I used to eat a whole pasta bake to myself in about 10 minutes and I'm not that person anymore. My stomach has got used to smaller meals and taking longer to eat.
It's a good tip (for everyone) to chew your food for as long as possible, it makes you feel fuller quicker and aids digestion. Take time to appreciate your food, I've been thinking lately its just energy but it needs to be enjoyed. What's your body gonna do with a piece of unchewed belly pork? stomach acid is strong but not that strong!
So even 3 months in I still make mistakes and I want people to know it's ok to screw up whether its overeating, eating the wrong food or missing the gym because you feel lazy, we're all human and it's ok :)
I've also decided I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow, as an almost 13 week weigh in to see what weight I've reached before the holiday :) I might not have lost anything since monday but I want to know what I am before I go away as it'll be awhile before I'll be near a set of scales.
See you tomorrow for an update xo
Monday, 5 September 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXIV: 12 week weigh in
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 165.75 lbs (11st 11.75lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1.25lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 23.75lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 11.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Hey everyone, only 1.25lbs this week but I'm not shocked as I didn't go to the gym or do any exercise besides walking around merry hill and a half hour bike ride. I really really really hate my periods they pretty much put me on standstill exercise wise for at least a week and leave me feeling tired, in pain and just wanting to dive into a bowl of icecream! I know gentle exercise is meant to help but my exercise regime isn't particularly gentle and I barely feel like getting out my pjs when it's that bad.
I'm going to try and get at least one session at the gym and one swimming session in before the holiday to see if I can lose a bit more but I'm afraid you guys won't know the results as this time next week I'm going to be in tenerife yay :)
But I'm really proud pretty much 24lbs lost before the holiday so I'm feeling a little more bikini ready. 12 weeks ago I would have gone out and bought tankinis and swimming costumes to wear so its a massive change to my confidence. I'm hoping with the holiday as it will be hard to follow my diet that I'll at least reach 25lbs lost before I'm back at aber which would be 11 stone 10.5lbs. Its not far off from what I am now.
I still have 5 days (including today) before the holiday and a week after I come back to work on it. However because tenerife is disrupting things a little bit, I won't be able to post a 13 or 14 week weigh in. 13 week, because I'm over there and 14 week, I don't want to weigh myself straight away after coming back. So I will update my new weight on the 23rd september (the day before I go back to Aberystwyth) which is about 18 days away and fingers crossed I'll reach my 25lbs goal or possibly surpass it if I work hard enough and don't go too mad on holiday :)
See you soon xo
P.S I will be posting pictures of me in a bikini on here as it was suggested by one of my friends when I post my next weigh in as I feel I need to be honest about my body and what I've achieved in the last 3 months :)
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 165.75 lbs (11st 11.75lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1.25lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 23.75lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 11.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Hey everyone, only 1.25lbs this week but I'm not shocked as I didn't go to the gym or do any exercise besides walking around merry hill and a half hour bike ride. I really really really hate my periods they pretty much put me on standstill exercise wise for at least a week and leave me feeling tired, in pain and just wanting to dive into a bowl of icecream! I know gentle exercise is meant to help but my exercise regime isn't particularly gentle and I barely feel like getting out my pjs when it's that bad.
I'm going to try and get at least one session at the gym and one swimming session in before the holiday to see if I can lose a bit more but I'm afraid you guys won't know the results as this time next week I'm going to be in tenerife yay :)
But I'm really proud pretty much 24lbs lost before the holiday so I'm feeling a little more bikini ready. 12 weeks ago I would have gone out and bought tankinis and swimming costumes to wear so its a massive change to my confidence. I'm hoping with the holiday as it will be hard to follow my diet that I'll at least reach 25lbs lost before I'm back at aber which would be 11 stone 10.5lbs. Its not far off from what I am now.
I still have 5 days (including today) before the holiday and a week after I come back to work on it. However because tenerife is disrupting things a little bit, I won't be able to post a 13 or 14 week weigh in. 13 week, because I'm over there and 14 week, I don't want to weigh myself straight away after coming back. So I will update my new weight on the 23rd september (the day before I go back to Aberystwyth) which is about 18 days away and fingers crossed I'll reach my 25lbs goal or possibly surpass it if I work hard enough and don't go too mad on holiday :)
See you soon xo
P.S I will be posting pictures of me in a bikini on here as it was suggested by one of my friends when I post my next weigh in as I feel I need to be honest about my body and what I've achieved in the last 3 months :)
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXIII: The Boobie Blog
Well it's official i've accomplished goal no.4! my boobs are smaller. I went to grab some bras in the sale at Asda to tide me over, they always have huge sizes left in the sale, until I get my boobs measured when i've finished losing weight.
I was a 34G, i'm now a 32F. I was planning on a 32E which still might happen but I'm happy to be this size and in my eyes i've met my goal of having (slightly) smaller boobs :)
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
6. To buy size 14 hipster jeans and feel sexy in them, part of the reason I never wear jeans is because they make me feel fat, you can't have muffin tops/buddha belly in a flowing dress.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
8. To wear the size 14 leather/suede mini skirt I bought from new look last year, I have never worn it because when I bought it I was slightly too big for it when I bought it and planned to diet to fit in and never got round to it, on a night out and feel confident that I fit in it.
9. To fit comfortably in my denim shorts for fresher's week, since I loved wearing them last year during freshers.
10. To not be classed as an obese woman again, I can deal with being overweight according to BMI as I'm a curvy girl but I will not be obese!
I was a 34G, i'm now a 32F. I was planning on a 32E which still might happen but I'm happy to be this size and in my eyes i've met my goal of having (slightly) smaller boobs :)
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
Monday, 29 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXII: 11 week weigh in
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 167 lbs (11st 13lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 22.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 12.5lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
6. To buy size 14 hipster jeans and feel sexy in them, part of the reason I never wear jeans is because they make me feel fat, you can't have muffin tops/buddha belly in a flowing dress.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
8. To wear the size 14 leather/suede mini skirt I bought from new look last year, I have never worn it because when I bought it I was slightly too big for it when I bought it and planned to diet to fit in and never got round to it, on a night out and feel confident that I fit in it.
9. To fit comfortably in my denim shorts for fresher's week, since I loved wearing them last year during freshers.
10. To not be classed as an obese woman again, I can deal with being overweight according to BMI as I'm a curvy girl but I will not be obese!
I'm now 11 stone something and have lost over 1.5 stone, I really haven't been this slim in years and as long as I stay in the 11st weight range i'll have met my goal for going back to Aberystwyth :) I've met a few other goals recently as well which I can cross off. I bought my 2nd top that was a size 12 and am now only looking at size 14 clothes for my bottom half and 12s for my top so I can officially say I'm a size 12-14 and have met goal no.2 :) Also I've been keeping track of my measurements as I've gone along and I am now a 28in waist so I've met goal no.5 :)
See you next week for the 12 week weigh in, the last one before my holiday to Tenerife! xo
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 167 lbs (11st 13lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 22.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 12.5lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
I'm now 11 stone something and have lost over 1.5 stone, I really haven't been this slim in years and as long as I stay in the 11st weight range i'll have met my goal for going back to Aberystwyth :) I've met a few other goals recently as well which I can cross off. I bought my 2nd top that was a size 12 and am now only looking at size 14 clothes for my bottom half and 12s for my top so I can officially say I'm a size 12-14 and have met goal no.2 :) Also I've been keeping track of my measurements as I've gone along and I am now a 28in waist so I've met goal no.5 :)
The bra size goal I know I have met in some sense as my bras are getting far too big and i'm having to wear them on the tightest setting but I don't think I'll get measured until i'm 11st 7lb and know I'm very close to my goal weight as the size could still change in the next half a stone comes off so I don't want to buy new bras to only need new ones later down the line. The other goals are more depending on how I feel about myself and right now I feel pretty good but I'm not quite there with those other goals yet :)
I haven't done it yet on this blog as I felt ashamed of my measurements I felt huge so I didn't want to post but after nearly 3 months I feel ready to share as I have lost so many inches and inches are just as important as lbs :)
Original Bust: 42in
I haven't done it yet on this blog as I felt ashamed of my measurements I felt huge so I didn't want to post but after nearly 3 months I feel ready to share as I have lost so many inches and inches are just as important as lbs :)
Original Bust: 42in
Current Bust: 38in
Original Waist: 33in
Current Waist: 28in
Original Hips: 43in
Current Hips: 39in
Original Hips: 43in
Current Hips: 39in
Original Thigh: 26.5in
Current Thigh: 23in
Original Arm: 14in
Current Arm: 12in
This last measurement is a bit of random one but I did the measure the size of my belly as it was huge when I started to be honest I felt like I could be secretly pregnant it was so big so I kept track of it shrinking and it's like it's disappeared, there's still a little bit of belly but it's nothing compared to the spare tyre I was carrying!
Original Belly: 41in
Current Belly: 35in
Current Thigh: 23in
Original Arm: 14in
Current Arm: 12in
This last measurement is a bit of random one but I did the measure the size of my belly as it was huge when I started to be honest I felt like I could be secretly pregnant it was so big so I kept track of it shrinking and it's like it's disappeared, there's still a little bit of belly but it's nothing compared to the spare tyre I was carrying!
Original Belly: 41in
Current Belly: 35in
See you next week for the 12 week weigh in, the last one before my holiday to Tenerife! xo
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXXI: Spark
This is definitely more of a feelings blog than a practical weight loss blog as I'm trying to share the experience of weight loss. It's definitely not an easy process. Everyone even me automatically thinks that if I lost that 5, 10, 15, 20, 50lbs suddenly I'll feel amazing and the world will be at my feet as I'll feel so confident in my new "perfect" body. It's cheesy but happiness comes from within it's really nothing to with what you look like. I thought I'd feel way more confident and happy than I do by this point. I'm the slimmest I've been in 2 years, I should be jumping for joy and strutting my stuff but I'm not. I'm catching my reflection and I'm thinking, yeah that's more appealing but it's not good enough. The perfectionist nature and weight loss can be a dangerous mix as you're always striving for better which is a good quality in some aspects of life but will I ever be happy with what I look like?
I was watching Cherry's Body Dilemmas last night and I saw myself in all these women. I'd never get surgery but I saw the self hatred and I see it in myself. I looked over some old journals and I've had issues with food since at least 14, always feeling guilt about food even though I was a size 8-10 at that point and I felt fat and worthless and I think I've carried it with me a long time no matter what I've looked like. The idea of me being fat has been burnt into my brain, I think I've never come to terms with having a woman's body, sometimes my breasts feel alien to me like they're not meant to be that size and my hips are far too large even though I look completely normal. I became a woman on the outside but never accepted it on the inside.
I think a lot of it was how badly bullied I was during school and lot of the taunts were about my appearance,if I'm being more specific they were about everything my body, my face, my personality, my intelligence and stuff that wasn't even true. I think that scared self conscious girl is still inside of me and still rules the way I think about myself. I think a lot of my motivation in my life has stemmed from trying to prove a bunch of idiots wrong and I need to stop that in it's track. My success has to be for me I can't carry these demons with me forever.
On the flipside in this programme was a naturist and was at a camp with other naturists and were totally comfortable being naked and a women who was overweight who did a vintage clothes blog and gave up on dieting and threw away the scales and accepted her body as it was. I wish I had that acceptance about myself and could have that confidence. I know confidence doesn't come from your looks it comes from within and being happy in your own skin and with your life. I should really stop working so hard to lose this weight so quickly and channel some of that energy into finding what makes me happy. I feel like I've lost my spark, what makes me and what makes me happy lately. I'm floating around getting slimmer but I think I'm getting numb to it as I'm not happy.
Ever since my break up with Tim in January and my vow to be single this year I've had to come face to face with who I am and not focus on a man. It's hit me harder than I thought it would, for the first time in 7 years I've been truly alone and part of me wants to run into a new relationship to escape having to deal with all of this and throw myself into being a girlfriend rather than being Laura. I think I really have forgotten who I am outside of relationships. I feel like an empty shell that's been hollowed out by all the men I've know romantically bit by bit and after Tim it felt like there was really nothing left to offer or give to anyone.
I have to realise I have plenty to offer someone, I am a good person and when it's the right person they will be bring out the best in me and vice verse. But first I've got to come to terms with myself and find out what makes me happy outside of relationships so I'm going to sit down tonight and write a list of all the things that make me happy and attempt to do some of them. My life can't be all about one thing and it can't be all about this diet I need to distract myself from my thoughts about food and get out there and live my life. I don't want to look back and regret my time as a student simply because I felt too insecure or got too obsessed with a diet. Life is all about the little things that make you happy and I think everyone can take this message away from this blog
I was watching Cherry's Body Dilemmas last night and I saw myself in all these women. I'd never get surgery but I saw the self hatred and I see it in myself. I looked over some old journals and I've had issues with food since at least 14, always feeling guilt about food even though I was a size 8-10 at that point and I felt fat and worthless and I think I've carried it with me a long time no matter what I've looked like. The idea of me being fat has been burnt into my brain, I think I've never come to terms with having a woman's body, sometimes my breasts feel alien to me like they're not meant to be that size and my hips are far too large even though I look completely normal. I became a woman on the outside but never accepted it on the inside.
I think a lot of it was how badly bullied I was during school and lot of the taunts were about my appearance,if I'm being more specific they were about everything my body, my face, my personality, my intelligence and stuff that wasn't even true. I think that scared self conscious girl is still inside of me and still rules the way I think about myself. I think a lot of my motivation in my life has stemmed from trying to prove a bunch of idiots wrong and I need to stop that in it's track. My success has to be for me I can't carry these demons with me forever.
On the flipside in this programme was a naturist and was at a camp with other naturists and were totally comfortable being naked and a women who was overweight who did a vintage clothes blog and gave up on dieting and threw away the scales and accepted her body as it was. I wish I had that acceptance about myself and could have that confidence. I know confidence doesn't come from your looks it comes from within and being happy in your own skin and with your life. I should really stop working so hard to lose this weight so quickly and channel some of that energy into finding what makes me happy. I feel like I've lost my spark, what makes me and what makes me happy lately. I'm floating around getting slimmer but I think I'm getting numb to it as I'm not happy.
Ever since my break up with Tim in January and my vow to be single this year I've had to come face to face with who I am and not focus on a man. It's hit me harder than I thought it would, for the first time in 7 years I've been truly alone and part of me wants to run into a new relationship to escape having to deal with all of this and throw myself into being a girlfriend rather than being Laura. I think I really have forgotten who I am outside of relationships. I feel like an empty shell that's been hollowed out by all the men I've know romantically bit by bit and after Tim it felt like there was really nothing left to offer or give to anyone.
I have to realise I have plenty to offer someone, I am a good person and when it's the right person they will be bring out the best in me and vice verse. But first I've got to come to terms with myself and find out what makes me happy outside of relationships so I'm going to sit down tonight and write a list of all the things that make me happy and attempt to do some of them. My life can't be all about one thing and it can't be all about this diet I need to distract myself from my thoughts about food and get out there and live my life. I don't want to look back and regret my time as a student simply because I felt too insecure or got too obsessed with a diet. Life is all about the little things that make you happy and I think everyone can take this message away from this blog
Monday, 22 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXX: 10 week weigh in (it's not porn its blog no. 30!)
I haven't weighed myself for two weeks as last week I decided to give it a miss because of Aberystwyth and antibiotics. I forgot to change the weigh in for 8 weeks as I actually lost a 1lb less I wrote down the wrong weight on the blog, found the right one in my academic planner which has become my food/weight diary. I trumped my horn about my 10% loss of body weight a bit prematurely but I'm here now :)
I'm happy considering just 1lb and a bit and I'll be a 11 stone something which has not happened in over 2 and half years so I'm a bit excited to say the least! And I'm officially in 20 something lbs lost category which is mental to think about. I honestly thought I'd never get this far but here I am almost 12 stone exactly and 10 weeks ago I was well on my way to being 14 stone.
As long as I go back to Aberystwyth in 4 weeks time 11 stone something I'll be happy. I still have a week long holiday in Tenerife to contend with. I'm not planning to go mad with food and drink but i'll definitely not be on my normal diet so I'm going to try and cut myself a bit of slack for that weigh in as well. It makes me smile just thinking about how even next week I could be possibly calling myself a 11 stone something rather than sheepishly saying 12 stone something or 13 stone something with a blushing red face and have the comments of 'I would have never guessed!' and you have that feeling they're going 'you fat hefer!' in the back of your mind.
I'm getting so close the 11 stone girl I want to be, see you next Monday :) xo
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 169 lbs (12st 1 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1.75lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 20.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 14.5lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
I'm happy considering just 1lb and a bit and I'll be a 11 stone something which has not happened in over 2 and half years so I'm a bit excited to say the least! And I'm officially in 20 something lbs lost category which is mental to think about. I honestly thought I'd never get this far but here I am almost 12 stone exactly and 10 weeks ago I was well on my way to being 14 stone.
As long as I go back to Aberystwyth in 4 weeks time 11 stone something I'll be happy. I still have a week long holiday in Tenerife to contend with. I'm not planning to go mad with food and drink but i'll definitely not be on my normal diet so I'm going to try and cut myself a bit of slack for that weigh in as well. It makes me smile just thinking about how even next week I could be possibly calling myself a 11 stone something rather than sheepishly saying 12 stone something or 13 stone something with a blushing red face and have the comments of 'I would have never guessed!' and you have that feeling they're going 'you fat hefer!' in the back of your mind.
I'm getting so close the 11 stone girl I want to be, see you next Monday :) xo
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 169 lbs (12st 1 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1.75lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 20.5lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 14.5lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Monday, 15 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXIX: Aberystwyth Mad Weekend and Photo Comparison
Here's what 19lbs lost actually looks like in a decent photograph :) except the one on the right, my god I feel horrible looking at that photo now.
Anyways I've just come back from a weekend in Aberystwyth and to be fair last week Mon-Thurs, I followed my diet perfectly with no slip ups. However Friday to Sunday remains a different matter. Friday I ate a load of cheesy pasta bake, got drunk and ended the night with a kebab and chips. Saturday I ate pizza and curly fries, turkey drummers and mini cheddars. Sunday I ate chinese ready meal of some kind of chicken and egg fried rice, more mini cheddars, a maple pecan danish and fish and chips.
So after all that I'm scared to weigh myself tomorrow I really am even though for over half the week last week I was very good, those 3 days at the weekend were incredibly bad calorie and lack of exercise wise, unless drunk dancing counts! But I think I really needed to do that, I was becoming far too calorie and exercise obsessed and couldn't seem to let go of healthy eating habits and nagging voices in my head. So I fully let go and let myself eat what I wanted and get drunk and it was fun. I really recommend it to anyone who has been on diet for a long time (longer than a couple of weeks) you start to get obsessed if you can't cheat! Now I've had my cheat weekend it's time to get back on the diet wagon and face the consequences tomorrow morning on the scale. I think I'm going to have to encorporate some kind of cheat into my week so I don't need to do a whole weekend to get the obsessions out of my head.
Another thing I'm not sure whether my weight will be affected at the moment by the course of antitibiotics and the fact I've had to start taking the combined pill as well as having the implant in my arm because of bad problems with that so with all those extra calories and extra chemicals/hormones in my body, I'm gonna try to not be hard on myself but if the number seems too bizarre I might not post it and give my body another week to recover from the weekend and to finish taking my antibiotics and miss my 9 week weigh in out :)
xo
Thursday, 11 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXVIII: Jealousy and Guilt
Jealousy and guilt I've been feeling for a while. Lately I can't seem to bring myself to have something unhealthy without an anagonising debate in my mind whether I deserve it, how many calories could it be and then once I've eaten said item, I feel wracked with guilt and it's really beginning to worry me.
I have an addictive personality so I always have to be wary in life whether it's drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex or food. I have to take stock and make sure I'm not overdoing it, smoking I can't fix for now as I don't feel ready to give it up and I have to feel ready to give it up. I think I may be getting addicted to dieting and calorie counting as I'm finding it so difficult to let go. I'm trying to, i had a chicken butterfly breast burger and chips at wetherspoons with 2 pints of alcohol last night and that felt difficult to let go of. I wasn't going to go the gym today as I've been feeling so tired and keep suffering constant headaches but after last night and the upcoming weekend I felt too guilty not to go.
I don't want this healthy eating to control my life, I want to have a normal life and not be having this constant battle in my mind about whether I should eat. So I had a piece of new york cheesecake today, if I've worked my butt off and been really good all week, how much do I think a piece of cheesecake is really going to hurt me. When I go through phases of eating badly, I show no regard for my health whatsover but when I try and eat healthy I convince myself food is the enemy. This is just another issue I'm going to have to come to terms with. I have a bad relationship with food which I need to fix so I can be a healthy person who can have a burger once in awhile without having constant conflicts or be the opposite and eat burgers all the time because I believe it'll make me feel better about my problems. Food is either my comfort blanket or my enemy, I just want it to be somewhere in between.
Another emotion I've been feeling a lot lately is jealousy. I feel jealous of most people even some of my closest friends. I want to be happy for them but part of me just feels like what is the point? I'm always going to have these big boobs that hurt my back, big hips and a butt that make me feel huge and I'll always be short. In my head I guess I want to 5'8 and slim hipped with small shapely boobs but I can never be that person. I'm short and curvy and no amount of dieting is going to change that and I'm finding it hard to accept my body for what it is. I look around and feel angry, why don't I look like that? Yes I have a curvy shape but when I go shopping it makes me feel all the clothes out there weren't designed for me they were designed for this fantasy body I'll never achieve. I want to be happy and proud of myself for losing so much weight so far but part of me just feels like the short podgy girl no one will ever take a second glance at when I walk in room. I never used to feel invisible but lately I look at myself and feel like a ghost of me.
I walk down the street and part of me hopes I won't be noticed by anyone especially men as I don't think I can deal with it any more. Male strangers scare the hell out of me and I don't want to feel that way inside. The thought of man approaching me just fills me with anxiety. I don't know where this confidence crisis has come from, I think just my last relationship's break up hit me really hard and I haven't felt like myself since. It was 7 months ago and part of me is going "move on already!" "you weren't together for that long!" I think this year is the first time in a long time I haven't used having a boyfriend to give me confidence and I'm finding it hard to cope by myself and not have that boost from a partner. Losing weight isn't going to fix my problems with my confidence or my problems with the opposite sex and I don't know what will. So for now I'm gonna try and find ways to break out of this thought process, food isn't the enemy, men aren't the enemy and especially I'm not my enemy. I'm a good person and I need be a better friend to myself.
I have an addictive personality so I always have to be wary in life whether it's drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex or food. I have to take stock and make sure I'm not overdoing it, smoking I can't fix for now as I don't feel ready to give it up and I have to feel ready to give it up. I think I may be getting addicted to dieting and calorie counting as I'm finding it so difficult to let go. I'm trying to, i had a chicken butterfly breast burger and chips at wetherspoons with 2 pints of alcohol last night and that felt difficult to let go of. I wasn't going to go the gym today as I've been feeling so tired and keep suffering constant headaches but after last night and the upcoming weekend I felt too guilty not to go.
I don't want this healthy eating to control my life, I want to have a normal life and not be having this constant battle in my mind about whether I should eat. So I had a piece of new york cheesecake today, if I've worked my butt off and been really good all week, how much do I think a piece of cheesecake is really going to hurt me. When I go through phases of eating badly, I show no regard for my health whatsover but when I try and eat healthy I convince myself food is the enemy. This is just another issue I'm going to have to come to terms with. I have a bad relationship with food which I need to fix so I can be a healthy person who can have a burger once in awhile without having constant conflicts or be the opposite and eat burgers all the time because I believe it'll make me feel better about my problems. Food is either my comfort blanket or my enemy, I just want it to be somewhere in between.
Another emotion I've been feeling a lot lately is jealousy. I feel jealous of most people even some of my closest friends. I want to be happy for them but part of me just feels like what is the point? I'm always going to have these big boobs that hurt my back, big hips and a butt that make me feel huge and I'll always be short. In my head I guess I want to 5'8 and slim hipped with small shapely boobs but I can never be that person. I'm short and curvy and no amount of dieting is going to change that and I'm finding it hard to accept my body for what it is. I look around and feel angry, why don't I look like that? Yes I have a curvy shape but when I go shopping it makes me feel all the clothes out there weren't designed for me they were designed for this fantasy body I'll never achieve. I want to be happy and proud of myself for losing so much weight so far but part of me just feels like the short podgy girl no one will ever take a second glance at when I walk in room. I never used to feel invisible but lately I look at myself and feel like a ghost of me.
I walk down the street and part of me hopes I won't be noticed by anyone especially men as I don't think I can deal with it any more. Male strangers scare the hell out of me and I don't want to feel that way inside. The thought of man approaching me just fills me with anxiety. I don't know where this confidence crisis has come from, I think just my last relationship's break up hit me really hard and I haven't felt like myself since. It was 7 months ago and part of me is going "move on already!" "you weren't together for that long!" I think this year is the first time in a long time I haven't used having a boyfriend to give me confidence and I'm finding it hard to cope by myself and not have that boost from a partner. Losing weight isn't going to fix my problems with my confidence or my problems with the opposite sex and I don't know what will. So for now I'm gonna try and find ways to break out of this thought process, food isn't the enemy, men aren't the enemy and especially I'm not my enemy. I'm a good person and I need be a better friend to myself.
Monday, 8 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXVII: 8 week weigh in
Great loss this week :) only a 1.25lb away from 20lbs lost so far!
Next week's weigh in may be a different story as it will be on tuesday of next week as I'm spending a weekend in Aberystwyth with Vicki and Pearlie :) I plan to stick to my diet/exercise regime as much as possible this week but I will be getting drunk on friday and treating myself a little while I'm there which I think I have earned :)
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 170.75lbs (12st 2.75 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1.75lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 18.75lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 16.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
See you next Tuesday :) xo
Next week's weigh in may be a different story as it will be on tuesday of next week as I'm spending a weekend in Aberystwyth with Vicki and Pearlie :) I plan to stick to my diet/exercise regime as much as possible this week but I will be getting drunk on friday and treating myself a little while I'm there which I think I have earned :)
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 170.75lbs (12st 2.75 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 1.75lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 18.75lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 16.25lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
See you next Tuesday :) xo
Saturday, 6 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXVI: The Random Blog
Hey everyone, thought I'd do another little update of random things, so its not a proper blog with a theme, more of a random selection of information.
Firstly I fit into the leather and suede size 14 skirt which was goal no.8 if you remember (see below). I haven't worn it outside the house yet but I plan to wear it next weekend for my weekend in Aber with my favourite girlies :) I'm sorry the picture is terrible (again!) but hopefully I can get Vicki or Pearlie to take a decent picture of me wearing the skirt :)
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
6. To buy size 14 hipster jeans and feel sexy in them, part of the reason I never wear jeans is because they make me feel fat, you can't have muffin tops/buddha belly in a flowing dress.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
8. To wear the size 14 leather/suede mini skirt I bought from new look last year, I have never worn it because when I bought it I was slightly too big for it when I bought it and planned to diet to fit in and never got round to it, on a night out and feel confident that I fit in it.
9. To fit comfortably in my denim shorts for fresher's week, since I loved wearing them last year during freshers.
10. To not be classed as an obese woman again, I can deal with being overweight according to BMI as I'm a curvy girl but I will not be obese!
Also I mentioned fitting into Vicki's chinos a while back Body Combat, Size 14 and Bikinis well now they are becoming far too loose and I need a belt to keep them up! It was only 3 weeks ago that I managed to fit into them for the first time and now I'm outgrowing them. Its sad because I love them but awesome as it means i'm definitely losing my tummy and getting smaller :)
And finally I'm officially in love with these raisins thanks to Vicki, they're a brilliant snack and only 75 calories, super yummy, 32p for a packet (much healthier choice than a chocolate bar and it gives you your sweet tooth fix) and avaliable at Asda/Health Food Shops :) The cherry flavour is my favourite but you can also get them in orange, pineapple and lemon.
Firstly I fit into the leather and suede size 14 skirt which was goal no.8 if you remember (see below). I haven't worn it outside the house yet but I plan to wear it next weekend for my weekend in Aber with my favourite girlies :) I'm sorry the picture is terrible (again!) but hopefully I can get Vicki or Pearlie to take a decent picture of me wearing the skirt :)
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
Also I mentioned fitting into Vicki's chinos a while back Body Combat, Size 14 and Bikinis well now they are becoming far too loose and I need a belt to keep them up! It was only 3 weeks ago that I managed to fit into them for the first time and now I'm outgrowing them. Its sad because I love them but awesome as it means i'm definitely losing my tummy and getting smaller :)
And finally I'm officially in love with these raisins thanks to Vicki, they're a brilliant snack and only 75 calories, super yummy, 32p for a packet (much healthier choice than a chocolate bar and it gives you your sweet tooth fix) and avaliable at Asda/Health Food Shops :) The cherry flavour is my favourite but you can also get them in orange, pineapple and lemon.
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXV: Size 14 Jeans
Goal number six has been achieved today, I bought a size 14 pair of bootcut jeans from matalan, they were only £10 but it was the greatest feeling :) They are only plain black jeans but every women reading this will know the horror of jean shopping! You never know I may end up in a size 12 pair of jeans in the future! I wouldn't say I've met my goal of size 12-14 just yet even though the top i'm wearing in the photo is a size 12 (its very stretchy) but there are still some clothes I'd need a 16, so right now I'd say I'm a 14-16 which is an improvement on size 16-18 :)
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
6. To buy size 14 hipster jeans and feel sexy in them, part of the reason I never wear jeans is because they make me feel fat, you can't have muffin tops/buddha belly in a flowing dress.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
8. To wear the size 14 leather/suede mini skirt I bought from new look last year, I have never worn it because when I bought it I was slightly too big for it when I bought it and planned to diet to fit in and never got round to it, on a night out and feel confident that I fit in it.
9. To fit comfortably in my denim shorts for fresher's week, since I loved wearing them last year during freshers.
10. To not be classed as an obese woman again, I can deal with being overweight according to BMI as I'm a curvy girl but I will not be obese!
This is not the best picture of me but screw it! the jeans are a 14 :D
1. To go back to university in September a slimmer and more confident person
2. To be a size 12-14 rather than 16-18
3. To feel comfortable about my body in underwear
4. To be a smaller bra size, 32E would be ideal.
5. For my waist size to be 28-29 inches, believe it or not I have a naturally slim waist and back! its been awhile since its been that size though.
7. To have a defined jawline and décolletage again, I'll be glad to get rid of my double chin and lack of collarbone definition.
8. To wear the size 14 leather/suede mini skirt I bought from new look last year, I have never worn it because when I bought it I was slightly too big for it when I bought it and planned to diet to fit in and never got round to it, on a night out and feel confident that I fit in it.
This is not the best picture of me but screw it! the jeans are a 14 :D
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Fat to Fit Blog XXIV: Baked Berry Cheesecake Recipe
This recipe was inspired by a recipe in a healthy eating recipe book bought at a carboot and has needed a little tweaking thus two cheesecakes have been made in our house in the last 2 days but at only 118 calories for a quarter of it, I can pig out a little :) Its got more a moussey texture than normal cheesecake but then again it doesn't have a butter biscuit base, or full fat soft cheese :) I did hear you could make the biscuit base of normal cheesecakes with crushed biscuits and use egg white instead of melted butter but have not tried that idea.
Baked Berry Cheesecake
Ingredients
2. Whizz the cottage cheese with a handblender/processor until smooth. If using quark then you can eliminate this step.
3. Mix the whizzed cottage cheese/quark with the yoghurt, flour, sugar, egg and egg white until smooth then add the lemon rind, lemon juice and black berries and lightly stir the mixture.
4. Tip the mixture into the prepared tin and bake it for 50-55 minutes. Turn off the oven and leave the cheesecake in the oven for 30 minutes.
5. Run a knife edge around the edge of the cheesecake and turn it out on to a serving plate and remove the lining paper.
6. You can either serve it straight away warm (like the recipe originally suggested) or like I did refrigerate it for an hour so it's a little more set.
In the whole cheesecake there is 470 calories, so per quarter of it is 118 calories and per eighth is 59 calories so very much a healthy treat :)
Baked Berry Cheesecake
Ingredients175g low fat cottage cheese or quark (fat free cream cheese)
150g low fat natural yoghurt
1 tbsp of wholemeal flour
2 tbsp of golden caster sugar
1 egg
1 egg white
finely grated rind and juice of 1/2 lemon
150g soft berries (blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, cranberries or a mix of them all)
Instructions
1. Preheat oven to Gas Mark 5 and lightly grease and line a 7in cake tin2. Whizz the cottage cheese with a handblender/processor until smooth. If using quark then you can eliminate this step.
3. Mix the whizzed cottage cheese/quark with the yoghurt, flour, sugar, egg and egg white until smooth then add the lemon rind, lemon juice and black berries and lightly stir the mixture.
4. Tip the mixture into the prepared tin and bake it for 50-55 minutes. Turn off the oven and leave the cheesecake in the oven for 30 minutes.
5. Run a knife edge around the edge of the cheesecake and turn it out on to a serving plate and remove the lining paper.
6. You can either serve it straight away warm (like the recipe originally suggested) or like I did refrigerate it for an hour so it's a little more set.
In the whole cheesecake there is 470 calories, so per quarter of it is 118 calories and per eighth is 59 calories so very much a healthy treat :)
Monday, 1 August 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXIII: 7 week weigh in
I've lost 2lbs this week, not as good as last week but still a great loss :) So that brings me up to the total of 17lbs so far. I'm half way to my goal at 7 weeks, I've got 7 more weeks until I start back at university not sure if I'll make it all the way to 35lbs but hopefully a good bit more will come off by then.
My aim originally was to lose 10% of my original body weight (19lbs) in 14 weeks as I've only got to lose 2 more lbs to reach that goal, I'm gonna aim to be a 11st something by the time I'm back so I've got to lose at least 6lbs. It's less than a 1lb a week and taking my holiday in Tenerfie and weekend in Aber into account, I think its a reasonable goal that I think I can accomplish and possibly beat. I'm not going to set myself to lose all 35lbs as I think that's too much pressure and my weight loss will begin to settle down over the next few weeks to a 1lb-2lb a week.
Its absolutely mental to think I've lost that much as I don't think my mind has caught up yet as I'm still having the whole 'my belly is huge' when its a hell of a lot smaller than it was. I'm wearing size 16 jeans that I couldn't pull up around my hips before but now am having to pull them up when I'm walking around as the waist is loose on them. I may actually need to wear a belt o.O I forgot what it felt like to wear clothes that were too big for you, its a very odd feeling when you've got accustomed to everything you wear feeling unbelievably tight and being scared of bending over in case you rip whatever you're wearing.
Thought I'd try and put my weight loss into some perspective so I can feel a little prouder of myself and grasp the reality of what I've lost. A can of Branston's Baked Beans (410g) is approx 1lb in weight including the can. So I have lost 17 cans of baked beans off my body. I can't imagine even picking it up, yet I've been carrying it around most of this year. It doesn't make me wonder why I used to get so out of breath walking!
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 172.5lbs (12st 4.5 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 17lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 18lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
My aim originally was to lose 10% of my original body weight (19lbs) in 14 weeks as I've only got to lose 2 more lbs to reach that goal, I'm gonna aim to be a 11st something by the time I'm back so I've got to lose at least 6lbs. It's less than a 1lb a week and taking my holiday in Tenerfie and weekend in Aber into account, I think its a reasonable goal that I think I can accomplish and possibly beat. I'm not going to set myself to lose all 35lbs as I think that's too much pressure and my weight loss will begin to settle down over the next few weeks to a 1lb-2lb a week.
Its absolutely mental to think I've lost that much as I don't think my mind has caught up yet as I'm still having the whole 'my belly is huge' when its a hell of a lot smaller than it was. I'm wearing size 16 jeans that I couldn't pull up around my hips before but now am having to pull them up when I'm walking around as the waist is loose on them. I may actually need to wear a belt o.O I forgot what it felt like to wear clothes that were too big for you, its a very odd feeling when you've got accustomed to everything you wear feeling unbelievably tight and being scared of bending over in case you rip whatever you're wearing.
Thought I'd try and put my weight loss into some perspective so I can feel a little prouder of myself and grasp the reality of what I've lost. A can of Branston's Baked Beans (410g) is approx 1lb in weight including the can. So I have lost 17 cans of baked beans off my body. I can't imagine even picking it up, yet I've been carrying it around most of this year. It doesn't make me wonder why I used to get so out of breath walking!
Weight Loss Goal: 35lbs
Starting Weight: 189.5lbs (13st 7.5lbs)
Current Weight: 172.5lbs (12st 4.5 lbs)
Weight Loss This Week: 2lbs
Weight Loss So Far: 17lbs
Current Weight Loss to Go: 18lbs
Goal Weight: 154lbs (11st)
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXII: Owning Success and Failure
Thought I'd write a little blog, well just about how nervous I'm feeling once again. Every sunday night is full of do I feel any slimmer? Will I have lost weight? I've exercised, I've eaten well, so I should, right? A lot about weight loss is believing you can and despite losing the weight I have so far, somehow I feel like its a fluke even though I've worked hard to get here. I really need to build my confidence in all areas of life as whenever I do well and succeed, I assume I'm just lucky. I've got to start owning my achievements.
This diet is getting really hard as we're at 7 weeks now, most diets people go on last about 2/3 weeks before lapsing back into old habits but I really don't want to. I don't want to be fat laura anymore and I can still see part of her in me. I'm expecting a cinderella transformation but it's not going to happen. I preach patience to everyone but I don't want to be patient. I'm ready for it to happen now.
That's another thing I need to take ownership of my failings and gaining all this weight is a failing. The pill/mini pill/implant may have played a part as their side effects do include weight gain but I did this to my body and I don't deserve to have this weight lifted off me instantly. Weight loss needs to be about ownership and right now I've got to own this, own my success so far and own my failings that have led me to this diet.
I need to work for this so I really appreciate my new body. I'm still nervous about the fact I'm going to Tenerife and will be in a bikini for all to see but I need to own that bikini and walk tall (insert bad pun here about my 5'4 frame) I guess I've forgotten how to feel confident in all aspects of my life and sometimes I wonder amongst all the teenage angst if I've ever felt confident but it's something I need if I'm going to be successful in all aspects of my life.
I need confidence and I need to trust in my abilities and in other people. People aren't secretly thinking "what the hell is she doing wearing that? She's too fat, what an idiot!" People are not as mean as I give them credit for and I'm not that grossly overweight, I'm able to run without dying, I can still see my feet, I shop in high street stores etc! When I look in the mirror I don't think I see the real me, I always see myself as fatter than I am and that needs to stop :)
Now I think a good night's sleep is in order and I'll update weight stats in the morning -fingers crossed- xo
This diet is getting really hard as we're at 7 weeks now, most diets people go on last about 2/3 weeks before lapsing back into old habits but I really don't want to. I don't want to be fat laura anymore and I can still see part of her in me. I'm expecting a cinderella transformation but it's not going to happen. I preach patience to everyone but I don't want to be patient. I'm ready for it to happen now.
That's another thing I need to take ownership of my failings and gaining all this weight is a failing. The pill/mini pill/implant may have played a part as their side effects do include weight gain but I did this to my body and I don't deserve to have this weight lifted off me instantly. Weight loss needs to be about ownership and right now I've got to own this, own my success so far and own my failings that have led me to this diet.
I need to work for this so I really appreciate my new body. I'm still nervous about the fact I'm going to Tenerife and will be in a bikini for all to see but I need to own that bikini and walk tall (insert bad pun here about my 5'4 frame) I guess I've forgotten how to feel confident in all aspects of my life and sometimes I wonder amongst all the teenage angst if I've ever felt confident but it's something I need if I'm going to be successful in all aspects of my life.
I need confidence and I need to trust in my abilities and in other people. People aren't secretly thinking "what the hell is she doing wearing that? She's too fat, what an idiot!" People are not as mean as I give them credit for and I'm not that grossly overweight, I'm able to run without dying, I can still see my feet, I shop in high street stores etc! When I look in the mirror I don't think I see the real me, I always see myself as fatter than I am and that needs to stop :)
Now I think a good night's sleep is in order and I'll update weight stats in the morning -fingers crossed- xo
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Fat To Fit Blog XXI: Jeans and Meals Out.
Hello everyone thought I'd do a blog about jeans as there is plenty to rant about. I believe I'm a size 14 now with my current measurements and fit into the vast majority of clothes sized as 14s but where the sizing guide went when they designed jeans is beyond me. I'll list a few examples of how jeans are ridiculous:
Also I just wanted to do a little section on eating out as I had a meal out today, only the second one I've had out since I went on my diet and its daunting! I went to Bella Italiano in Birmingham with my Dad which I thought would be alright but all I will say when eating out and eating healthily in restaurants they're really isn't a lot of choice. The healthy choice was classed as 600 calories and below which at the moment I'd class as a very large meal for me calorie wise as I tend to eat every few hours at the moment with low calorie options so my meals aren't as big but I'm getting to eat often.
I had the choice of one pasta dish, one steak dish if i swapped the fries for a green salad and 3 salad dishes and with the size of the menu its not very good, that I had 5 choices, 3 of which were salads. I chose the pasta dish Bucanti pasta with king prawns in a spicy tomato sauce which was very nice. Best advice on eating out relating to Italian food is always go for the tomato based pasta dish it will always be the healthier option. I personally believe there should be more choices that are lower calorie besides salad and I wouldn't exactly call 600 calories, low calorie for a meal. I don't want to be one of those girls who goes out and orders a green salad while everyone else is chomping down on steak and chips. This diet is a lifestyle, obviously I can splurge once in a blue moon but if you regularly eat out, dieting is a nightmare.
We're wondering why everyone is getting obese, look at how little choice you have when you go out to a restaurant or when you look for a sandwich to grab from the supermarket, every is overloaded with calories, fat, sugar and salt. We're all scratching our heads going this obesity epidemic is a 'fat miracle', its not. Portions are getting bigger, there is a lack of healthy choices that aren't saturated with salt and sugar and food labelling is misleading. Take a soup can in your house and see what it lists its calories on the front of the tin, I bet it will be for half the can. No one eats half a can of soup.
Even though that meal counts as a healthy option it was a bit of splurge especially since I had a egg custard tart as well but I've done really well these past few weeks so I can afford to go slightly over my calorie intake for the day :) Everyone deserves to once in awhile. And to every girl out there struggling to fit into a pair of jeans, or finding it hell to diet when you're out and about or even at home, you're not alone :)
See you soon xo
- I've just fit into a size 16 pair of jeans from M&S my mum originally bought for herself to diet into. My measurements tell me I'm a 14 but I'm still a size 16 by their logic, I placed a size 14 tight skirt I had against these 'size 16' jeans and the waist band is larger on the skirt!
- New Look: Tried on 4 different styles of jeans all sized 14, could fasten them (if i breathed in just right) but they looked horrendous, muffin tops, overhanging belly the works as they were all hipster style, yet I try on a size 14 body con dress in the same shop and it's far too big on me.
- I hope people on my facebook don't mind but I'm going to demonstrate my anger towards new look with the following quotes from a status I posted and these are from slim girls for gods sake!:
- "I'm not curvy, by any means (bloody wish i was), however, I do have a big bum in proportion to my body. I have the same issue with New Look. If I try on a size 10, muffin top and restriction on the bum causing a horrible bum crack displayed... whenever I'm sat down. And a size 12 is just too big on the legs."
- "If it makes you feel better I'm too scared to try on size 12's anymore when it comes to jeans, too much risk of muffin top. As for my size 10's, I had to face giving them over to a charity shop"
Also I just wanted to do a little section on eating out as I had a meal out today, only the second one I've had out since I went on my diet and its daunting! I went to Bella Italiano in Birmingham with my Dad which I thought would be alright but all I will say when eating out and eating healthily in restaurants they're really isn't a lot of choice. The healthy choice was classed as 600 calories and below which at the moment I'd class as a very large meal for me calorie wise as I tend to eat every few hours at the moment with low calorie options so my meals aren't as big but I'm getting to eat often.
I had the choice of one pasta dish, one steak dish if i swapped the fries for a green salad and 3 salad dishes and with the size of the menu its not very good, that I had 5 choices, 3 of which were salads. I chose the pasta dish Bucanti pasta with king prawns in a spicy tomato sauce which was very nice. Best advice on eating out relating to Italian food is always go for the tomato based pasta dish it will always be the healthier option. I personally believe there should be more choices that are lower calorie besides salad and I wouldn't exactly call 600 calories, low calorie for a meal. I don't want to be one of those girls who goes out and orders a green salad while everyone else is chomping down on steak and chips. This diet is a lifestyle, obviously I can splurge once in a blue moon but if you regularly eat out, dieting is a nightmare.
We're wondering why everyone is getting obese, look at how little choice you have when you go out to a restaurant or when you look for a sandwich to grab from the supermarket, every is overloaded with calories, fat, sugar and salt. We're all scratching our heads going this obesity epidemic is a 'fat miracle', its not. Portions are getting bigger, there is a lack of healthy choices that aren't saturated with salt and sugar and food labelling is misleading. Take a soup can in your house and see what it lists its calories on the front of the tin, I bet it will be for half the can. No one eats half a can of soup.
Even though that meal counts as a healthy option it was a bit of splurge especially since I had a egg custard tart as well but I've done really well these past few weeks so I can afford to go slightly over my calorie intake for the day :) Everyone deserves to once in awhile. And to every girl out there struggling to fit into a pair of jeans, or finding it hell to diet when you're out and about or even at home, you're not alone :)
See you soon xo
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