Haven't updated for 10 days or so not going to lie I've been on a bit of a foodie alcohol bender and I've put on weight....I'm not happy I feel so fat but it tastes so good I just want to be slim without having to try so hard...It's stupid I know but I just wish I could feel comfortable in my body. It doesn't help I've been on my period for 2 weeks now and it's driving me nuts...I'm bloated I'm craving terrrible food and I haven't exercised because I feel too much in pain. I'm going to eat some soup get down to the gym, go buy more soup and seriously kick some weight loss ass. I have Reading Festival in 3 and half weeks and I want to be at least a stone lighter by then...I'm looking at losing 3 and half to 4 and half lbs a week by then...I can do this. I really can I just need to avoid the crap stick to cereal, soups, veg. No fried food, no alcohol and I should be ok :)
Food
1 bowl of cornflakes (187)
Tomato Soup (234) 1 mini wholemeal roll (67)
Chilli and baked potato (500)
1 icecream (90)
1 packet of rowntree randoms (96)
1 peanut butter kit kat chunky (263)
1437 total.
Monday, 30 July 2012
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Day 12: wine
Food
1 mars bar (260)
2 bananas (200)
1 packet of crisps (100)
2 pieces of cheese on toast (400)
Antipasti and prawns (300)
half a piZZa (500)
Wine and cocktails (700)
Total: 2460
Bit of a bad day really but it was a meal out with a lot of cocktails :)
1 mars bar (260)
2 bananas (200)
1 packet of crisps (100)
2 pieces of cheese on toast (400)
Antipasti and prawns (300)
half a piZZa (500)
Wine and cocktails (700)
Total: 2460
Bit of a bad day really but it was a meal out with a lot of cocktails :)
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Day 11: Nervous
Food
2 scrambled eggs and 1 piece of toast (300)
Baked Berry Cheesecake (59)
Lemon Sole and Cous Cous Salad (337)
1 apple crumble yoghurt (88) 1 large banana (100)
1 pork chop and 1 baked beans and cheese baked potato (600)
1474 TOTAL
No Gym need to take a break might go for a walk later if the ran holds off :)
2 scrambled eggs and 1 piece of toast (300)
Baked Berry Cheesecake (59)
Lemon Sole and Cous Cous Salad (337)
1 apple crumble yoghurt (88) 1 large banana (100)
1 pork chop and 1 baked beans and cheese baked potato (600)
1474 TOTAL
No Gym need to take a break might go for a walk later if the ran holds off :)
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Day 10: Bake the old cheesecake!
Food
B Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
MMS 2 jaffa cakes (114)
L Pasta salad with thousand island dressing (236)
MAS 1 banana and 1 yoghurt (188)
D 2 fishcakes, veg and rice (613)
LNS Baked berry cheesecake (59)
Total 1382 TOTAL
Gym 560
+822 today :)
About to attempt an old Baked Berry Cheesecake from last year wish me luck :)
B Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
MMS 2 jaffa cakes (114)
L Pasta salad with thousand island dressing (236)
MAS 1 banana and 1 yoghurt (188)
D 2 fishcakes, veg and rice (613)
LNS Baked berry cheesecake (59)
Total 1382 TOTAL
Gym 560
+822 today :)
About to attempt an old Baked Berry Cheesecake from last year wish me luck :)
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Day 9: A little better
Food
B 1 protein shake (100)
MMS 2 oranges
L 75g pasta pesto salad (280)
MAS 1 muller greek yoghurt corner (170)
D Pasta Bolognese (650)
LNS 30g cheddar 1 ryvita cracker with lurpak and an apple (177)
Total: 1377
Gym: 570 calories
I'm working at 630+ calories today but I might go eat a little snack as I'm feeling a bit blergh! I'll put it on here as 200 calories and make sure I don't go over that amount for my LNS :) so I'm working at 830+ which is giving me a deficit of around 1170 not including running round the office like a mad woman in the heat! Felt fat at the beginning of today I'm feeling a bit better not perfect but still I just feel huge and I know I didn't when I was the same weight last year. Oh well shall keep plugging away at the gym every day this week/might go for a swim to hopefully see myself lose another 1lb -fingers crossed-
B 1 protein shake (100)
MMS 2 oranges
L 75g pasta pesto salad (280)
MAS 1 muller greek yoghurt corner (170)
D Pasta Bolognese (650)
LNS 30g cheddar 1 ryvita cracker with lurpak and an apple (177)
Total: 1377
Gym: 570 calories
I'm working at 630+ calories today but I might go eat a little snack as I'm feeling a bit blergh! I'll put it on here as 200 calories and make sure I don't go over that amount for my LNS :) so I'm working at 830+ which is giving me a deficit of around 1170 not including running round the office like a mad woman in the heat! Felt fat at the beginning of today I'm feeling a bit better not perfect but still I just feel huge and I know I didn't when I was the same weight last year. Oh well shall keep plugging away at the gym every day this week/might go for a swim to hopefully see myself lose another 1lb -fingers crossed-
Monday, 16 July 2012
Day 8: Meh
Food
Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
1 banana (80)
Tuna mayo sandwich (300)
1 packet of crisps (120)
1 yoghurt (88)
1/2 red onion, red pepper and cheddar quesdilla (300)
Pork roast with boiled potatoes and veg (600)
1 piece of cheese (50)
I ryvita cracker with cream cheese (90)
1800 total and might have another a little snack
No gym
I think I need to bring my calorie total up as I'm trying to keep it at 1500 but I feel like I don't have energy, today wasn't the healthiest day AGAIN. Gym after work tomorrow, it'd probably be best if I could get to sleep before half 1 in the morning!
My heart has not been in cutting calories since last friday, I haven't made any overtly bad choices like stuffing my face with a kfc but I keep eating so much, I think I need to get to bed earlier as the munchies always strike at about 11 at night and I should be in bed by then!
I've got friday off work so after the hospital appointment I'm going to do a proper long gym session to make up for these days :)
I'm hoping for the last 6 weeks I'm home I can make more of an effort as I'm not in work after the next 4 weeks. Its so hard to diet while working in an office I just feel tired all the time and having people offer me sweets and cakes and I feel like I have no time to prepare my own meals :(
I really hate the way I look for the last few days, my ass and stomach are huge and protrude out of my body massively, sometimes I think am I imagining this? 29in waist and 39in hips, I'm not that big am I? and then I look in the mirror and think that I'm disgusting how could anyone ever look at me and think I'm attractive, I'm so grossly fat with huge rolls and my thighs chaff together like I'm this bulging beast.
I really wish I could see myself the way everyone around me does, my mind and body don't sink up. The only time I felt happy with the way I looked I was underweight, hips and collar bone jutting out of my skin, skin flaps for breasts, I could see my ribs and my chest bones and I thought I looked great...that sounds absolutely sick thinking about it? How can bones be sexy? I look at underweight women and think they look great and perfectly fine. I wish I could just accept the way my body is, no matter how much I lose I have curves. I wish it didn't feel so unnatural sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong body. It'd be nice to have men look at my face rather than my chest for once in my life. The way men look at me makes me feel a little sick inside. I just want to get back on track with my diet now and have the willpower to do this and fit into those jeans and walk down the street without thinking is everyone looking at my flabby pregnant looking belly? Are they looking at my big flabby arms? When in reality they're just looking at a girl walk past them maybe wondering why she struggles to look them in the eye.
Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
1 banana (80)
Tuna mayo sandwich (300)
1 packet of crisps (120)
1 yoghurt (88)
1/2 red onion, red pepper and cheddar quesdilla (300)
Pork roast with boiled potatoes and veg (600)
1 piece of cheese (50)
I ryvita cracker with cream cheese (90)
1800 total and might have another a little snack
No gym
I think I need to bring my calorie total up as I'm trying to keep it at 1500 but I feel like I don't have energy, today wasn't the healthiest day AGAIN. Gym after work tomorrow, it'd probably be best if I could get to sleep before half 1 in the morning!
My heart has not been in cutting calories since last friday, I haven't made any overtly bad choices like stuffing my face with a kfc but I keep eating so much, I think I need to get to bed earlier as the munchies always strike at about 11 at night and I should be in bed by then!
I've got friday off work so after the hospital appointment I'm going to do a proper long gym session to make up for these days :)
I'm hoping for the last 6 weeks I'm home I can make more of an effort as I'm not in work after the next 4 weeks. Its so hard to diet while working in an office I just feel tired all the time and having people offer me sweets and cakes and I feel like I have no time to prepare my own meals :(
I really hate the way I look for the last few days, my ass and stomach are huge and protrude out of my body massively, sometimes I think am I imagining this? 29in waist and 39in hips, I'm not that big am I? and then I look in the mirror and think that I'm disgusting how could anyone ever look at me and think I'm attractive, I'm so grossly fat with huge rolls and my thighs chaff together like I'm this bulging beast.
I really wish I could see myself the way everyone around me does, my mind and body don't sink up. The only time I felt happy with the way I looked I was underweight, hips and collar bone jutting out of my skin, skin flaps for breasts, I could see my ribs and my chest bones and I thought I looked great...that sounds absolutely sick thinking about it? How can bones be sexy? I look at underweight women and think they look great and perfectly fine. I wish I could just accept the way my body is, no matter how much I lose I have curves. I wish it didn't feel so unnatural sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong body. It'd be nice to have men look at my face rather than my chest for once in my life. The way men look at me makes me feel a little sick inside. I just want to get back on track with my diet now and have the willpower to do this and fit into those jeans and walk down the street without thinking is everyone looking at my flabby pregnant looking belly? Are they looking at my big flabby arms? When in reality they're just looking at a girl walk past them maybe wondering why she struggles to look them in the eye.
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Day 7: Recovery
Food
1 rasher of bacon with fat trimmed grilled (60) 1 sausage (145) 200g baked beans (100) 3 mushrooms and 1 potato waffle (104) = 409
Yahoo milkshake (300)
Vegetable zumo juice (165)
King Prawn Alfredo ready meal (550)
1 pack of assorted fruit
3 slices of pizza (300
1724 total.
No exercise besides a few hours of shopping, hating myself for yesterday's disaster binge but looking forward to next week where I can make up for my bad behaviour and can wear my new pretty heels...heels make you taller thus you appear slimmer, might give my confidence a bit of a boost if I don't feel like the stumpy fat girl for once.
Just wish I could feel comfortable in my curves like Marilyn Monroe her weight fluxuated up and down but she was always comfortable. The last time I felt comfortable with how I looked I was a stone underweight...now I'm 2 stone overweight and still uncomfortable. I don't think I'll ever be happy with my breasts or my hips, they still feel alien even after all these years.
1 rasher of bacon with fat trimmed grilled (60) 1 sausage (145) 200g baked beans (100) 3 mushrooms and 1 potato waffle (104) = 409
Yahoo milkshake (300)
Vegetable zumo juice (165)
King Prawn Alfredo ready meal (550)
1 pack of assorted fruit
3 slices of pizza (300
1724 total.
No exercise besides a few hours of shopping, hating myself for yesterday's disaster binge but looking forward to next week where I can make up for my bad behaviour and can wear my new pretty heels...heels make you taller thus you appear slimmer, might give my confidence a bit of a boost if I don't feel like the stumpy fat girl for once.
Just wish I could feel comfortable in my curves like Marilyn Monroe her weight fluxuated up and down but she was always comfortable. The last time I felt comfortable with how I looked I was a stone underweight...now I'm 2 stone overweight and still uncomfortable. I don't think I'll ever be happy with my breasts or my hips, they still feel alien even after all these years.
Saturday, 14 July 2012
Day 6: The Binge
Food
Bacon and egg sandwich (400)
Samosa (150)
1/2 chicken club sandwich (200)
Chicken fajita pizza (700)
2 oat cookies (100)
1550...this is when it was a good total not perfect but I'd gone to the gym and I was happy but then I started to feel crap when I got back from a friend's house and thought screw it!
The Binge...
3 turkey drummers and chips (500)
2 slices of garlic bread (240)
1 packet of crisps (100)
840 calories in the space of an hour and a half so silly as its more than I burnt off in the gym that day so my total calorie count for saturday was...2390, an overeat of 390 calories for the day to maintain my weight. However with the gym burn off of 600 calories it brings it down to 1790 which isn't disastrous, 3000 calories + would be a disaster. I wanted a day off even though it had been 5 days of calorie counting to let myself enjoy food but I went too far. Calorie counting works for me but makes me really obsessive and I end up being in a food aisle unable to make a choice of what I really want because of the calories then get hungry later on and binge because I didn't let myself have something that I wanted that was healthy because it was 100 calories more.
Oh well Day 6 bit of a disaster barely wanted to post about it but Sunday was a new day ish...see the next post.
Bacon and egg sandwich (400)
Samosa (150)
1/2 chicken club sandwich (200)
Chicken fajita pizza (700)
2 oat cookies (100)
1550...this is when it was a good total not perfect but I'd gone to the gym and I was happy but then I started to feel crap when I got back from a friend's house and thought screw it!
The Binge...
3 turkey drummers and chips (500)
2 slices of garlic bread (240)
1 packet of crisps (100)
840 calories in the space of an hour and a half so silly as its more than I burnt off in the gym that day so my total calorie count for saturday was...2390, an overeat of 390 calories for the day to maintain my weight. However with the gym burn off of 600 calories it brings it down to 1790 which isn't disastrous, 3000 calories + would be a disaster. I wanted a day off even though it had been 5 days of calorie counting to let myself enjoy food but I went too far. Calorie counting works for me but makes me really obsessive and I end up being in a food aisle unable to make a choice of what I really want because of the calories then get hungry later on and binge because I didn't let myself have something that I wanted that was healthy because it was 100 calories more.
Oh well Day 6 bit of a disaster barely wanted to post about it but Sunday was a new day ish...see the next post.
Friday, 13 July 2012
Day 5: Weigh In
Starting weight: 12st 12.5lbs (180.5lbs)
Last week's weight: 12st 8.5lbs (176.5lbs)
Current Weight: 12st 6.25lbs (174.25lbs)
Loss this week: 2.25lbs
Loss overall: 6.25lbs
Food
B Fruit and Fibre cereal with semi skimmed milk (185)
MMS 1 orange
L Tuna Mayo Salad Sandwich and 1 banana (390)
MAS 2 Sesame Ryvita with light Cream cheese (114) and 1 kids pack of grapes
D Chicken Chow Mein + 4 mini chicken spring rolls (582)
LNS I slice of garlic bread (120) + 1 small slice of soda bread with cream cheese (110)
LLNS Sushi snack pack (171)
Calories so far: 1670
Today I have eaten more than normal as it's a friday I thought I would treat myself to some mini spring rolls with my chow mein which was only 312 calories, and the spring rolls being 270 but hey I worked off 606 calories in the gym today! :)
Exercise
Gym standard routine with increased amount of weight on the leg press machine :)
Last week's weight: 12st 8.5lbs (176.5lbs)
Current Weight: 12st 6.25lbs (174.25lbs)
Loss this week: 2.25lbs
Loss overall: 6.25lbs
Food
B Fruit and Fibre cereal with semi skimmed milk (185)
MMS 1 orange
L Tuna Mayo Salad Sandwich and 1 banana (390)
MAS 2 Sesame Ryvita with light Cream cheese (114) and 1 kids pack of grapes
D Chicken Chow Mein + 4 mini chicken spring rolls (582)
LNS I slice of garlic bread (120) + 1 small slice of soda bread with cream cheese (110)
LLNS Sushi snack pack (171)
Calories so far: 1670
Today I have eaten more than normal as it's a friday I thought I would treat myself to some mini spring rolls with my chow mein which was only 312 calories, and the spring rolls being 270 but hey I worked off 606 calories in the gym today! :)
Exercise
Gym standard routine with increased amount of weight on the leg press machine :)
Thursday, 12 July 2012
Day 4
Food
B Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
MMS Jaffa cakes x 3 (157)
L Chicken and cous cous salad (320)
MAS Yoghurt and apple (100)
D Chicken Curry and Rice with vegetables (450)
LNS 2 Ryvita with cream cheese (120)
Total so far: 1319
Exercise - Did not go the gym in the end but plan to go tomorrow :)
B Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
MMS Jaffa cakes x 3 (157)
L Chicken and cous cous salad (320)
MAS Yoghurt and apple (100)
D Chicken Curry and Rice with vegetables (450)
LNS 2 Ryvita with cream cheese (120)
Total so far: 1319
Exercise - Did not go the gym in the end but plan to go tomorrow :)
Wednesday, 11 July 2012
Day 3
Food
1 bowl of cornflakes and 1 piece of toast with lurpak spread (300)
Pasta Pesto Salad (280)
Sausage Roll (360) need to buy a snack that isn't so bad, damn you greggs. I need a find a way of stopping my blood sugar dropping so low in the afternoon.
Breaded chicken, oven chips and baked beans (550)
2 pieces of watermelon
1490 total
...then staying up late for mum and hunger pangs kicked in, I ate a large apple which is great since I don't count fruit and veg in my calorie intake however it then struck about 11:30 and I had a baked beans and cheese toastie...which is around 400 calories followed by a packet of crisps another 100.
So my total is now 1990, so I'm under 2000 but only 10 under what I should be eating to maintain my weight and 490 what I was aiming for...not good at all.
I'm so angry at myself I was hungry so I ate but I tried the healthy and when that didn't satisfy me I went for the unhealthy from tomorrow I need to eat more calories when I'm at work...do 5 small meals a day rather than 3 big ones and feel bad if I have a snack.
Tomorrow
1. Breakfast (300)
Mid morning snack (100)
Lunch (300)
Midafternoon snack (100)
Dinner (300)
above would be fantastic but I think I should aim for 1500 calories instead, 1200 I lose weight faster but I can't survive a full day at work and the gym on 1200!
2. Breakfast (300)
Mid morning snack (100)
Lunch (400)
Midafternoon snack (100)
Dinner (500)
Late night snack (100)
That's 1500 total and I'm getting to have the late night snack which is a part of my problem I can't stop eating, I don't have much of an appetite when I first get up but force myself to have breakfast because I need it to start my day but then when I get home from work I just want to eat and eat. I know part of it is comfort eating but I don't think I'm eating calories in the right way.
3. Mid morning snack (250)
Lunch (300)
Midafternoon snack (250)
Dinner (500)
Late night snack (200)
Or the above option 3 could work, skip breakfast and eat later but larger snacks more like small meals in the morning and afternoon so I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to eat.
...
As long as I keep my food total roughly under 1500 calories I should be on the right track :)
Exercise: none besides running round the office and 20mins of walking which is about 180 calories at my pace :)
Will go to the gym either tomorrow evening or friday after work. Went a bit mad on the weights and my inner thighs and chest muscles are quite achey today, if they're feeling better by tomorrow I'll go but if not I shall rest until friday and then go friday and saturday, possibly sunday to make it 5 times this week.
1 bowl of cornflakes and 1 piece of toast with lurpak spread (300)
Pasta Pesto Salad (280)
Sausage Roll (360) need to buy a snack that isn't so bad, damn you greggs. I need a find a way of stopping my blood sugar dropping so low in the afternoon.
Breaded chicken, oven chips and baked beans (550)
2 pieces of watermelon
1490 total
...then staying up late for mum and hunger pangs kicked in, I ate a large apple which is great since I don't count fruit and veg in my calorie intake however it then struck about 11:30 and I had a baked beans and cheese toastie...which is around 400 calories followed by a packet of crisps another 100.
So my total is now 1990, so I'm under 2000 but only 10 under what I should be eating to maintain my weight and 490 what I was aiming for...not good at all.
I'm so angry at myself I was hungry so I ate but I tried the healthy and when that didn't satisfy me I went for the unhealthy from tomorrow I need to eat more calories when I'm at work...do 5 small meals a day rather than 3 big ones and feel bad if I have a snack.
Tomorrow
1. Breakfast (300)
Mid morning snack (100)
Lunch (300)
Midafternoon snack (100)
Dinner (300)
above would be fantastic but I think I should aim for 1500 calories instead, 1200 I lose weight faster but I can't survive a full day at work and the gym on 1200!
2. Breakfast (300)
Mid morning snack (100)
Lunch (400)
Midafternoon snack (100)
Dinner (500)
Late night snack (100)
That's 1500 total and I'm getting to have the late night snack which is a part of my problem I can't stop eating, I don't have much of an appetite when I first get up but force myself to have breakfast because I need it to start my day but then when I get home from work I just want to eat and eat. I know part of it is comfort eating but I don't think I'm eating calories in the right way.
3. Mid morning snack (250)
Lunch (300)
Midafternoon snack (250)
Dinner (500)
Late night snack (200)
Or the above option 3 could work, skip breakfast and eat later but larger snacks more like small meals in the morning and afternoon so I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to eat.
...
As long as I keep my food total roughly under 1500 calories I should be on the right track :)
Exercise: none besides running round the office and 20mins of walking which is about 180 calories at my pace :)
Will go to the gym either tomorrow evening or friday after work. Went a bit mad on the weights and my inner thighs and chest muscles are quite achey today, if they're feeling better by tomorrow I'll go but if not I shall rest until friday and then go friday and saturday, possibly sunday to make it 5 times this week.
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
Day 2
Food
1 bowl of cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (152) I left most of the milk and a fair few cornflakes, damn this busy mornings!
1 piece of toast with lurpak spread (130)
1 Apple Crumble yoghurt fat free (80)
Chicken salad, 200g marinated chicken breast, salad, cucumber, green pepper, tomato and celery (172)
Steak Bake (430) oops but I was so hungry and I couldn't have worked out the gym if it wasn't for this. Definitely need to add some pasta or cous cous in that salad to keep me going for longer!
Pasta Bolognese (550)
1514 total so far today.
Exercise
Gym -575 calories so I'm working at +939 calories today.
There's still cake in the office kitchen from yesterday and birthday cake at home, I gave in last night and had a slice, I was well under what I needed to be so it should balance out but the universe keeps trying to make me eat cake god dammit.
1 bowl of cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (152) I left most of the milk and a fair few cornflakes, damn this busy mornings!
1 piece of toast with lurpak spread (130)
1 Apple Crumble yoghurt fat free (80)
Chicken salad, 200g marinated chicken breast, salad, cucumber, green pepper, tomato and celery (172)
Steak Bake (430) oops but I was so hungry and I couldn't have worked out the gym if it wasn't for this. Definitely need to add some pasta or cous cous in that salad to keep me going for longer!
Pasta Bolognese (550)
1514 total so far today.
Exercise
Gym -575 calories so I'm working at +939 calories today.
There's still cake in the office kitchen from yesterday and birthday cake at home, I gave in last night and had a slice, I was well under what I needed to be so it should balance out but the universe keeps trying to make me eat cake god dammit.
Monday, 9 July 2012
Day 1...again.
Keep forgetting to post and getting distracted by cake and crisps and how the gym seems too difficult. Although I haven't gained any weight I'm stuck at the same 12st 8 and I would like to go back to uni within the 11st weight category. Right now I'm at work and there's part of someone's wedding cake in the kitchen, its red velvet with cream cheese frosting, it looks so delicious and I'm finding it really hard every time I go to make a cup of tea...well wish me luck. Shall update with dinner calories and hopefully be able to keep it under 1400. I don't count fruit besides bananas or vegetables and salad on my diet so I need to remember to bulk up on them as much as possible. I know it's spaghetti bolognese tonight so if I weigh my own pasta and avoid the hard cheese I should be able to make it into a reasonable amount of calories rather than the 700 or so it is normally.
Food
Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
Yoghurt Apple Crumble fat free (80)
Tuna Salad with dressing (220)
Banana + yoghurt (will be pre gym snack) 140
Roast Lamb, boiled potatoes, cauliflower, peas, gravy (575)
1 orange
1 slice of cake (300)
Total so far today 1487
Exercise
I'm going to the gym after work.
5 min treadmill
10 min cross trainer
7 min rower
5 min arm bike
5 wave machine
30 x abductor
30 x adductor
30 x leg press
30 x chest press
Should work out to about -575 caloriess so I'm working at about 912+ calories for the day.
Food
Cornflakes and semi skimmed milk (172)
Yoghurt Apple Crumble fat free (80)
Tuna Salad with dressing (220)
Banana + yoghurt (will be pre gym snack) 140
Roast Lamb, boiled potatoes, cauliflower, peas, gravy (575)
1 orange
1 slice of cake (300)
Total so far today 1487
Exercise
I'm going to the gym after work.
5 min treadmill
10 min cross trainer
7 min rower
5 min arm bike
5 wave machine
30 x abductor
30 x adductor
30 x leg press
30 x chest press
Should work out to about -575 caloriess so I'm working at about 912+ calories for the day.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Day 2: Dentist I
Well today was fun, busy rushed off my feet at work and the had to go to the dentist to get a filling done, as well as getting a wisdom tooth pulled on friday! You'd think the pain would stop me eating but it's comforting as long as I chew on the one side. Not been too bad today :) Ended up crying on the bus this morning, that was unsettling. At the moment I just feel a bit emotionally drained, back at work and I just kept repeating the same thoughts 'I'm fat, I'm bloated, I'm tired, I'm ugly, My teeth are hideous, My teeth are disgusting'. I managed to stop myself I had a cigarette, made myself and everyone at work a cup of tea which was much appreciated and I felt better. It's alright to have those low moments and to be honest I indulge in the moments I do cry because I rarely do anymore. I just let everything wash over me or go straight through me so it's nice to feel for once. Hopefully I can have a good week and lose a 1lb (or 2 if I'm lucky!) I've mainly got to work on having better self esteem and not thinking I'm hideous all the time :)
Food
1 bagel with low fat spread
2 pieces of gluten free bread, 2 slices of chicken, 1 cherry tomato and salad sandwich
1 banana
1 forest fruit biscuit
1 celery stick with 5g of jalapeno and red pepper hummus
2 pieces of marinated cod, roasted butternut squash, yellow pepper, cherry tomatoes and mediterrean cous cous
1 30g bowl of cornflakes
6 chicken dippers and two potato waffles (I felt terrible, stupid period pain drives me to food!)
Exercise
None - No gym but that's due to the filling, don't want it to fall out on me!
Food
1 bagel with low fat spread
2 pieces of gluten free bread, 2 slices of chicken, 1 cherry tomato and salad sandwich
1 banana
1 forest fruit biscuit
1 celery stick with 5g of jalapeno and red pepper hummus
2 pieces of marinated cod, roasted butternut squash, yellow pepper, cherry tomatoes and mediterrean cous cous
1 30g bowl of cornflakes
6 chicken dippers and two potato waffles (I felt terrible, stupid period pain drives me to food!)
Exercise
None - No gym but that's due to the filling, don't want it to fall out on me!
Monday, 25 June 2012
Day 1: New beginnings
So it's been a long time and to be honest I should have kept writing as my weight has skyrocketed not back to where I started but not far off. I got content and thought because I was slimmer I could eat all of the bad foods and not do exercise except I was only slimmer because I had avoided bad foods and exercised.
My current stats are:
Weight: 176lbs (12st 8lb)
BMI: 30.2
Bust: 39in
Waist: 29in
Hips: 39in
Stomach: 36in
Arms: 12.5in
Thighs: 24in
So not great considering last September I was 154lbs...I've gained 22lbs in less than a year and that is really hard to stomach right now after all the hard work I put in last summer. I'm back on track with the gym going 3/4 times a week but I'm really struggling to keep on top of the diet side of things. I've lost 4lbs in the past few weeks since coming home but I felt that shitty about the way I looked yesterday I bought a family bag of doritos, tub of sour cream and chive dip and a southern fried chicken wrap and ate it in all one go. I felt sick afterwards but I just thought screw it! Maybe I'm just meant to be obese and not as slim as my friends. the curvy girl forever more. My aim last year was to be the less curvy girl and I supose I am as I'm still 14lbs lighter than I was. I just so badly want to fit into my size 12 skinny jeans again but I just feel bottom heavy and thundering around like a rodeo bull. I'm still a size 12-14 but more on the size 14 side.
I need to get back on track, part of me thinks I'm too obsessed with the way I look, that I only feel attractive in a particular size that no matter what I've never become comfortable with my curves. Maybe I'm just a product of an over obsessed culture and find myself envying girls less intelligent and driven than I am just because they are a size 8-10. Its completely backwards I should value myself on the inside but I feel like I have to be everything. I have to be slim, I have to be beautiful, I have to be intelligent, I have to be funny, I have to be ambitious, I have to have a career, I have to get married, I have to make money, I have to have kids. And on top of that act carefree about it, like it's no effort at all to do all of these things, sometimes I think something has to give and that's why I don't blame overweight/obese people as you try and meet all these standards in life, food is an easy one to lose control of and it makes you feel good. Try and argue sweet, sugary, salty, fatty foods don't taste good? Its impossible its what we're designed to crave but there's too much to consume, so we overconsume thinking the storm is coming and it never does.
I'm off to the gym now to do my first full routine with resistance training and I'm going to get back on track with my diet my writing down everything I eat from now on and what exercise I do. I'n going back to blogging so the whole world can hold me accountable to my actions. It's not going to be easy but I believe one day I will concur my issues with food and my weight and be happy.
Food
1 plain bagel with cream cheese
1 chicken sandwich with lowfat spread
1 packet of plain crisps
2 crispbread with 10g jalapeno and red pepper hummus
1 fat free greek honeyed peach yoghurt
1 bowl of spaghetti bolognese with 10g parmesan and 1 slice of crusty wide bread with butter.
1 pot of melon pieces
Exercise
5min treadmill
10 min cross trainer
7 min rower
5 min arm bike
5 min wave machine
2 x 15 leg presses
2 x 15 adductor
2 x 15 abductor
2 x 15 chest press
3 x 30 ab crunches
5 recline bike
My current stats are:
Weight: 176lbs (12st 8lb)
BMI: 30.2
Bust: 39in
Waist: 29in
Hips: 39in
Stomach: 36in
Arms: 12.5in
Thighs: 24in
So not great considering last September I was 154lbs...I've gained 22lbs in less than a year and that is really hard to stomach right now after all the hard work I put in last summer. I'm back on track with the gym going 3/4 times a week but I'm really struggling to keep on top of the diet side of things. I've lost 4lbs in the past few weeks since coming home but I felt that shitty about the way I looked yesterday I bought a family bag of doritos, tub of sour cream and chive dip and a southern fried chicken wrap and ate it in all one go. I felt sick afterwards but I just thought screw it! Maybe I'm just meant to be obese and not as slim as my friends. the curvy girl forever more. My aim last year was to be the less curvy girl and I supose I am as I'm still 14lbs lighter than I was. I just so badly want to fit into my size 12 skinny jeans again but I just feel bottom heavy and thundering around like a rodeo bull. I'm still a size 12-14 but more on the size 14 side.
I need to get back on track, part of me thinks I'm too obsessed with the way I look, that I only feel attractive in a particular size that no matter what I've never become comfortable with my curves. Maybe I'm just a product of an over obsessed culture and find myself envying girls less intelligent and driven than I am just because they are a size 8-10. Its completely backwards I should value myself on the inside but I feel like I have to be everything. I have to be slim, I have to be beautiful, I have to be intelligent, I have to be funny, I have to be ambitious, I have to have a career, I have to get married, I have to make money, I have to have kids. And on top of that act carefree about it, like it's no effort at all to do all of these things, sometimes I think something has to give and that's why I don't blame overweight/obese people as you try and meet all these standards in life, food is an easy one to lose control of and it makes you feel good. Try and argue sweet, sugary, salty, fatty foods don't taste good? Its impossible its what we're designed to crave but there's too much to consume, so we overconsume thinking the storm is coming and it never does.
I'm off to the gym now to do my first full routine with resistance training and I'm going to get back on track with my diet my writing down everything I eat from now on and what exercise I do. I'n going back to blogging so the whole world can hold me accountable to my actions. It's not going to be easy but I believe one day I will concur my issues with food and my weight and be happy.
Food
1 plain bagel with cream cheese
1 chicken sandwich with lowfat spread
1 packet of plain crisps
2 crispbread with 10g jalapeno and red pepper hummus
1 fat free greek honeyed peach yoghurt
1 bowl of spaghetti bolognese with 10g parmesan and 1 slice of crusty wide bread with butter.
1 pot of melon pieces
Exercise
5min treadmill
10 min cross trainer
7 min rower
5 min arm bike
5 min wave machine
2 x 15 leg presses
2 x 15 adductor
2 x 15 abductor
2 x 15 chest press
3 x 30 ab crunches
5 recline bike
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